


1.14: Letting You Go

by JustLikeTheSong



Series: NYC Spin-Off 'Verse [17]
Category: Glee
Genre: Drama, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-03 21:44:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLikeTheSong/pseuds/JustLikeTheSong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(1) Things remain tense for Kurt and Blaine after their fight, and Blaine deals with his father's impending arrival to New York.</p><p>(2) Blaine and Kurt meet Blaine's father for lunch when he comes to New York.</p><p>(3) Santana receives a phone call from Brittany.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Like A Diamond From Black Dust

[Blaine](http://www.citylifemagazine.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Mens-Fashion.jpg) rubbed at his eyes wearily before looking back down at his phone, his thumb hovering over the SEND button.  Mom had been trying to get him to agree to meet Dad for lunch for reasons Blaine couldn't understand.

_...don't think either of you took the right approach when you talked on the phone, but he said to me that he'd be willing to meet you at noon on Thursday.  He's still your father, Blaine.  Please make an effort._

He didn't understand why it mattered to her; it wasn't as though she and Dad had close relationship, and Blaine hadn't seen either of them since he'd moved to New York.  Coming here was supposed to be a fresh start, letting go of the things and relationships that weighed him down.  Blaine had learned to cut his losses with Dad years ago, but some part of him always seemed to give in when Mom begged him to make an effort.  He sighed in frustration and pressed SEND on his response, angry at himself for relenting yet again, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good.  

He got up from his seat, the last one left in the lecture hall, where he'd been stewing over his abysmal family situation for five minutes, ever since he'd opened Mom's email.  And stewing was all he'd been doing the past while, since the one person he wanted to talk to was Kurt, and things were still so awkward and strained, and he didn't want to pull Rachel or Santana or even Mike into the middle of it.  The gnawing feeling in his stomach had refused to go away.  He hated how he and Kurt could barely meet each other's eyes, how they exchanged only the most necessary and polite words, and how silent the apartment had been over the past couple days.  A big part of him just wanted to forget their whole fight and wrap his arms around Kurt, kiss him senseless, and drag him to bed, but another part of him just couldn't let go of the hurt.  He knew the prospect of seeing Dad was making it so much worse, but he didn't know how to talk about it with Kurt, or how to explain to Kurt how much his words had injured him, or if Kurt could ever understand and accept that his family was probably the darkest part of him.  He didn't even know if Kurt wanted to listen.

He walked through NYADA's halls and found himself slipping into the empty choir room where he had his choral class.  His professor had challenged the class to do an acapella assignment, which was Blaine's bread and butter, and he'd been working on layering his own voice to create a fuller sound for his song, something like what the Warblers would have provided when he sang lead.  Pressing his lips together, he put his satchel down on the piano and pulled his CD out, putting it in the stereo and pushing [play](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRP-V9DgLKs).

_"There's a place that I know, it's not pretty there, and few have ever gone..."_

Blaine paced the length of the room, closing his eyes and letting himself slip into the song.

_"...everybody's got a dark side; can you love me? Can you love mine?"_

He circled the piano, letting a hand trail over the glossy black surface.

The truth was, he understood that it hurt and frustrated Kurt that Blaine kept him separate from his family.  Kurt had only met Cooper when he had breezed through town in high school after they'd been dating over a year, and he hadn't ever met his parents.  They were gone a lot, so even though he and Kurt spent lots of time at his house, they were always alone.

_"...it's hard to know what can become if you give up, so don't give up on me..."_

And he could do more to share that part of himself with Kurt.  But he looked at Kurt's family, despite all the loss and grief, and saw how close they were, how loving and supportive, and it hurt to think of his own.  Kurt had probably dreamt of falling in love and meeting the in-laws and adding more members to his wonderful family, but all Blaine had to offer was himself and a history of strain and rejection.  He knew it had to disappoint Kurt.

But maybe what disappointed and hurt him more was that Blaine never talked to him about it.  Maybe it was time to take that risk.

He felt his eyes smart as he walked to the center of the room, facing his invisible audience.

_"...nobody's a picture perfect, but we're worth it; you know that we're worth it..."_

He could be brave.  He could help Kurt understand that his family wasn't ever going to be like Kurt's.  He loved Kurt, and as scary as it was, he wanted Kurt to know, so it wouldn't hurt Kurt any more, and it wouldn't hurt them any more.  So Kurt could get it. and respect that this was a part of who Blaine was.  Because he knew Kurt loved him, the whole of him, and he'd love him, dysfunctional family history and all.

He sang out the words of the song, spreading his arms as he neared the end, then letting them swing down as he ducked his head.

_"...don't run away; promise you'll stay..."_

Blaine blinked back his tears, his jaw tensing.

Enough was enough.  He already had lunch with Dad tomorrow to deal with; he wasn't going to let that relationship continue to affect what he had with Kurt so badly.  He would find a way to fix things, and have faith that Kurt would understand.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up a little more than usual, and put his CD back in his satchel.

***

"Thank you so much; you are a life saver," [Rachel](http://media.tumblr.com/d6d2ef825d10efb7557ced34f73a953b/tumblr_inline_mg8hj2qxRF1qilqg8.png) said, "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't stepped in last minute to work some magic on this dress with your amazing sewing skills."  She put her costume for her upcoming performance in her Voice and Text class back in its garnment bag and hung it up.  She had accidentally torn it that day during a rehearsal and had called Kurt in a panic, begging him to come to NYADA at lunch if he could.

"You're welcome," [Kurt](http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/23400000/Glee-Live-kurt-and-blaine-23490300-500-458.jpg) said, and then smiled slowly as they left the auditorium, "you can make it up to me by doing my chores at the loft this week."

Rachel nodded and then narrowed her eyes, turning to look at him while they walked down the cooridor. "Wait, it's your week to clean the bathroom, isn't it?"

"It certainly is," Kurt chirped, laughing when she smacked him on the arm.

"I'm so excited for this performance; I am going to completely blow my professor away," Rachel said, smiling brightly and tilting her head up, "I can really embody the struggles of-"

"Shh," Kurt said, pausing at the sound of music coming from a nearby classroom.  He recognized the voice immediately.

"Is that Blaine?" Rachel whispered, and the two of them scurred towards the source of the music.

_"...try to push you out, will you return?"_

It was Blaine.  Kurt felt his heart in his throat as he watched his boyfriend, took in the frustration on his face, the pain in his voice.  Rachel was clutching his arm, her nails digging into his jacket as they continued to watch, hidden just around the corner of the doorway.

Blaine finished his song and stood, tense, fists balled at his sides, before moving over to the CD player.

Rachel tugged Kurt away, pulling him down the hall quickly before Blaine could exit the room and see them.

"Oh, that was just heart-breaking.  And the backing vocals sounded beautiful; he'll do so well on that choral assignment."

Kurt's chest ached.  He didn't even know about this assignment; that was how long it had been since he last had a real conversation with Blaine.

"Kurt? Are...are you okay?"

Kurt blinked, suddenly aware of the tears on his cheeks.  He wiped them away hastily.  His voice cracked when he spoke.

"He's hurting so much.  And it's because of me."

Rachel stopped their pace and pulled Kurt into the nearest empty classroom, guiding Kurt to sit down as he continued to dry his eyes and dragging a chair to sit in front of him.

"What did you two fight about?"

Kurt looked down miserably.  "His dad...his family."

Rachel nodded slowly, considering.

"I don't know what to do," Kurt confessed, his hands twisting in his lap, "I just want to be a part of his family, but he shuts me out.  He barely ever talks about them.  And now he's miserable, and it's my fault, and I don't know how to fix it."

"It's not your fault," Rachel said, grabbing his hands, "or...Kurt, there's obviously more to it.  I don't know anything about Blaine's family, but if that song had anything to do with them...don't you think that's what's causing him pain?  Especially if he's doesn't know if he can share that with you?"

Kurt thought back to their fight.  He had pushed too much, telling Blaine to meet his father, even suggesting that he could go too.  He let out a groan, remembering how he'd accused Blaine of not trying to work on his relationships with his parents.  Blaine, of all people.

"I said he didn't care," Kurt said softly, and Rachel gave him a sad look, "I told him it was like he didn't want to bother salvaging his family.  How could I be so unsympathetic?"

"You have your dad," Rachel told him, smiling gently, "and Mrs. Hudson-Hummel.  And Finn.  I have my dads.  It's never going to be easy for us to understand what it's like having a family that isn't there for you."

Kurt shook his head, his shoulders slumping.  "Which is why I should be there for him.  And I wasn't."

"Show him you will be," Rachel urged him, "Kurt, you are...so caring, so compassionate.  You've been there for me so many times.  And you've been there for Blaine, too.  One mistake doesn't erase all that, you know."

"I don't know how to show him," Kurt said helplessly, "I want to...I want him to know I'll always be there for him."

"Well, you know what my method would be," Rachel said airly, leaning back and smirking in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Kurt rolled his eyes fondly.  "Say it with a song." He pursed his lips, his eyebrows raising as he nodded a little.  "Well, that might actually be a good start."

***

When Blaine arrived home after school, it was to an empty loft, but for Kurt standing in the middle of the main area, hands clutched together in front of him.

Blaine felt his skin heating up as Kurt looked right at him, his face serious and eyes anxious.  "What's going on?" He asked slowly.

"Isabelle let me leave work early," Kurt said, his voice high, "and I asked Santana and Rachel to leave the apartment empty tonight.  They're having dinner with Mike and Kevser."

Blaine tried to ignore the nervous fluttering of his stomach.

Kurt swallowed, moving over to the iPod dock on the counter in the kitchen when Blaine shut the door.  "I know a song can't fix things," he said with his back to Blaine, "but I thought...maybe if it was you or me singing, it might help.  To show you that even though I'm completely clueless right now, I'll do anything to fix this, Blaine."

Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but Kurt cut him off.

"Just...just listen, okay?  And if you like what you hear, I'd be so happy if you sang with me."

He pressed [play](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3y_tjLBqTY) on his iPod, and music flooded the apartment.  Blaine closed his mouth and tried to steady his breathing as Kurt looked at him with beseeching eyes and started to sing.

_"Everyone's around, no words are coming out..."_

Kurt took a cautious step towards him, watching him carefully.  Blaine offered him a small smile.

_"...and I know this isn't enough; I still don't measure up, and I'm not prepared.  Sorry is never there when you need it..."_

Heart swelling, Blaine couldn't hold back any longer, and he started to walk towards Kurt, refraining from joining in as he listened to the sound of Kurt's beautiful voice.  Kurt smiled a tiny smile around the words of the song as Blaine drew closer.

_"...but I still have your letter, just got caught between someone I just invented, and who I really am, and who I've become..."_

Blaine couldn't hold back any longer.  Reaching out, he clasped Kurt's hands and joined in the song.

_"...and I do want you know I hold you up above everyone, and I do want you know I think you'd be good to me, and I'd be so good to you!"_

Kurt grinned, smiling despite the tears in his eyes as their voices wove together in harmony.  Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist, his other hand coming up to cup Kurt's cheek, and Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's arm, the other coming up to wipe away a tear on his cheek.

 _"I'd be good to you,"_ Blaine sang.

 _"I'd be good to you,"_ Kurt echoed.

 _"I'd be so good to you!"_ They finished together, holding out the last note as the music died away.  They both took a minute to catch their breath.  Kurt looked at Blaine with glassy eyes, his mouth trembling.  Blaine gripped his waist.

"We have a lot to talk about," he said, and Kurt dropped his eyes, nodding minutely, "mistakes have been made, hurt has been caused.  It'll take a lot of effort, and we probably won't be totally satisfied with the outcome."

"I know," Kurt said quietly.

"But I want to just skip it for now," Blaine said, a grin breaking out on his face as Kurt looked up in surprise and a tear slipping down his face, "I just want us to be kissing."

Blaine heard the small hitch in Kurt's breath as he leaned in.  Kurt met him halfway, closing the small distance between them.  The press of their lips together felt like coming home, and as Kurt gripped Blaine's back desperately and kissed him deeper, Blaine wrapped his lover up in his arms and pulled him down onto the floor.

***

Kurt and Blaine lay panting on the floor, naked save for the blanket they'd pulled off the couch to cover them in case Rachel or Santana walked in.  Smiling giddily, Blaine leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kurt's sweaty neck, curling his fingers into Kurt's messy hair and tugging gently.  Kurt hummed and wove his own hand into Blaine's untidy curls, which were springing free from his gel, and kissed him deeply.  Blaine's body was tingling with pleasure, and from the way Kurt was pressing against him, Blaine guessed his boyfriend was in a similar state.

"I love it when you do that...thing," Kurt said vaguely as they sat up, and Blaine chuckled.

"What thing?"

"You know..." Kurt trailed off, looking down at his chest meaningfully.  Blaine thought he knew what he was talking about, but chuckled again.  Kurt still had some trouble with dirty talk.  Blaine remembered how he had burst out in surprised laughter when he first heard Kurt utter the phrase "twinkle tube", and it had taken half an hour to convince him that it was adorable, not stupid.

"I like it when I do that thing, too," Blaine told him, leaning over to nuzzle his shoulder.  He paused there, thinking, and blew out a breath.  "Kurt...I'm meeting my dad for lunch Thursday."

Kurt's eyes widened, and his face turned very solemn.  He straightened up and took Blaine's hand between his own.  "That must be...causing you some stress," he said carefully, and then looked guilty.

"Hey," Blaine said softly, squeezing his hand, "the reason I'm asking is, I'd like it if you would accompany me.  If you want."

"Really?" Kurt nibbled on his still-swollen lip and Blaine felt heat stir in his belly at the sight, "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Really," Blaine said, "I could use some support.  I want you there with me."

"I'd love to," Kurt replied, smiling tremulously.  "I'd love to be there with you."

Blaine cleared his throat.  "But you're right.  It is pretty stressful."  Kurt made a sympathetic noise, but then jumped when Blaine suddenly grabbed him and rolled on top of him.  "I could use another round of stress relief."

Kurt grinned up at him.  "I'd be happy to help you out with that."  He leaned up and crashed their lips together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I totally ripped off the Willow/Tara speech from BtVS. You can all blame tumblr user adirotynd.
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Dark Side (Kelly Clarkson) by Blaine
> 
> Good To You (Marianas Trench ft. Kate Voegele) by Kurt and Blaine


	2. Mr. Anderson

[Blaine](http://data.whicdn.com/images/7071809/darren-criss-da-man-february-march-02_large.jpg) watched from the wings, grinning, as [Rachel](http://www.gleeksource.com/GleekSource/files/93/93ecb8e3-6d71-446f-bdb2-73af25bc6ce2_580_355.jpg) curtsied to the applause of her classmates.  He'd snuck backstage to tell her to break a leg and see her performance for her evaluation, and she'd done wonderfully.  She was really growing as an actor.

As soon as she stepped offstage, she rushed towards him with a grin and leapt at him, making him laugh as he caught her around the waist.

"Blaine! Oh my God, that felt incredible!"

"You were fantastic, Rach," he told her.

"Don't make me jealous now," Kurt's voiced drawled to the right of them, and they both turned to roll their eyes at where [he](http://x4e.xanga.com/8d4f4be228633261734164/z208577961.jpg) stood in the doorway leading to the hall.  His smirk slid into a pout.  "I missed it!  I was hoping I left work early enough."

"Well, there will be many, many more opportunities for you to see me perform," Rachel assured him with the kind of arrogance that only came with the high of a thrilling performance.

Kurt raised an eyebrow and sauntered towards them.  "I'm sure."  He turned to Blaine with a soft smile and took his hand.  "Ready to go?"

Blaine blew out a breath, feeling a little queasy at the prospect of meeting Dad for lunch.  "As ready as I'll ever be."

"But-" Rachel cut herself off, nibbling on her lip as her eyes roved over Kurt's body.  "Kurt, are you sure that's what you want to wear?"

Kurt stared at her pointedly, pursing his lips.  "When have I ever put on an outfit I wasn't sure I wanted to wear, Rachel?"

Rachel blushed.  "I-it's just that...I think you look nice, obviously, but maybe for Blaine's dad..."

Kurt turned to look at Blaine, a question in his eyes.

Blaine just smiled and dropped Kurt's hand to finger the hem of Kurt's kilt.  "You look great.  We're not trying to impress my dad, Rachel," Blaine said.

"I didn't mean - "

"Don't worry about it," Kurt cut her off with a wave of his hand, "now go to your adoring public, Ms. Berry, before they think you've collapsed backstage."

Blaine and Kurt left the auditorium through the stage exist, hands linked and swinging as they made their way down the hall.

Blaine pulled Kurt close and whispered in his ear: "You are wearing this to goad my dad, aren't you?"

"...maybe a little," Kurt said, offering an impish smile.

Blaine couldn't say he really minded.

***

"You're late," was [Dad's](http://pmctvline2.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/petergallagher300.jpg?w=640) greeting, even though by Blaine's watch, he and Kurt were precisely on time.  Dad looked up from the menu as Blaine and Kurt took their seats at the [table.](http://www.opentable.com/img/restimages/restref/7053.jpg)  His thick eyebrows shot up and quickly lowered into a controlled expression as he looked at Kurt.

"Hi Dad," Blaine said, his heartbeat already quickening, "this is Kurt Hummel, my boyfriend.  Kurt, this is my father, Henry Anderson."

Kurt had a polite, I'm-already-judging-you smile on his face as he offered his hand.  "A pleasure, I'm sure."

Dad paused for a moment more than was strictly polite, but still reached out to shake Kurt's hand.  Blaine gritted his teeth at the way Dad held Kurt's hand, the same way he would shake hands with little old ladies when they went to Church when Blaine was young.

"Hello, Kurt.  Blaine, you didn't tell me you were bringing a guest."

Blaine offered a tight smile.  He had sent an email last night, too tired to get into it on the phone.  "I decided to ask Kurt last-minute.  I figured since you were going to be here, you might as well meet the man I'm in love with."  He knew he didn't have to word it like that, but apparently Kurt's kilt was making him feel a little confrontational, too.

Blaine saw Dad's jaw tense, and his eyes harden just slightly.  He refused to look at Kurt.

Kurt broke the silence.  "So, Mr. Anderson, Blaine tells me you're here on business?  Must be nice to take a trip to New York."

"I'm not fond of the city," Dad said, and finally his eyes flitted to Kurt, taking in his clothing, "there are a lot of strange people in New York."

Blaine restrained himself from speaking, watching the way Kurt's cheeks pinked and his eyes glittered.  This was already going horribly.  The last thing he wanted was for Dad to hurt Kurt.

"Well, we should probably decide what we want to order, so we aren't wasting the server's time," Blaine said, opening up his menu.

"The waitress is here to wait on us, Blaine," Dad said mildly, though he did look back down at his menu, "that's her job."

Blaine let it go and tried to concentrate on the words in front of him.  Things remained awkward, but the tension seemed to lessen as the three of them concentrated on figuring out what to order.  Kurt reached under the table and clasped Blaine's hand, making Blaine relax a little.

As they waited for their food, conversation remained stilted.

"Have you talked to Cooper lately?" Blaine asked.

"Not since Christmas," Dad replied, "although your mother tells me he has started seeing a nice girl." His eyes darted to Kurt briefly.  "It's good to see him spending time in suitable company."

Kurt was staring Dad with that slightly wide-eyed expression he sometimes wore when he was trying very hard to communicate his disdain and restrain himself at the same time.  "That's good to hear," Kurt said, his voice tight, "the last time I saw Cooper he didn't seem anywhere near settling down."

Blaine let out a small laugh, remembering Cooper and Rachel making out in the closet at New Year's.  "Coop isn't the most responsible when it comes to romance," Blaine said, grinning at Kurt.  Forgetting himself, he brought his and Kurt's hand up to rest on the table.

"I hardly think you're one to judge," Dad said coldly, "Blaine, please restrain yourself."

Kurt let out a small gasp and tried to tug his hand away, but Blaine held on tight, his eyes narrowing furiously.  "Look around you, Dad.  How many couples are holding hands in this place?  This is New York, for God's sake."

"Do what you want, then," Dad told him, leaning back, a small, mean smile on his face as he crossed his arms, "just remember what happened the last time you flaunted your ill-advised decisions."

Blaine felt hollow.  His cheeks heated up and he stared at Dad, not realizing how hard he was squeezing Kurt's hand.  He leaned forward, trembling a little.  "Kurt and I have 'flaunted' our relationship all over this city, and luckily we haven't come across anyone so close-minded as to get upset at the sight of two men holding hands.  Or hugging.  Or dancing.  Or _kissing_.  You'd think you'd be happy I found somewhere I could be myself without the risk of being attacked for it."

"Blaine..." Kurt said, his tone placating.

"You're making a scene.  Ever since you met this...boy, you've become so melodramatic," Dad said, and he tossed Kurt a disdainful look.

"How would you know what I'm like?  You're never around," Blaine sneered,  "you wouldn't believe the number of times Kurt slept over last year, since you and Mom were never home."

Dad's eyes widened, and Blaine might have gotten a real reaction out of him, but the server came by at that moment with their drinks, and after she left, they fell to silence again.

"I...was thinking of ordering a slice of cheesecake for dessert," Kurt said, his voice strained, "Blaine? Want to share?"

"I assume your friend is paying for himself," Dad gritted out.

"No," Blaine snapped, standing up and pulling Kurt with him.  He could feel tears forming in his eyes as he pulled his wallet out.  "I am paying for _my boyfriend_ Kurt and myself," he pulled out some bills and threw them down on the table, "and we are going to go, since you obviously don't want either of us here."

Dad looked up at him, shaking his head a little.  "What a disappointment."

"You don't have to worry about me disappointing you any more," Blaine said, "we're done." 

He turned and walked away, hands clenching into fists at his sides.

"You're the disappointment," he heard Kurt hiss, and a moment later, Kurt's hand was slipping into his and Kurt was pulling him into the restroom and guiding him to sit on the sofa.

"Blaine, I...I'm so sorry," Kurt croaked, and Blaine looked up from where he had buried his fingers in his hair to see Kurt's face etched with sorrow, his eyes filled with tears.  Blaine reached out and pulled him close, pressing his face in the crook of his neck and breathing him in.

"I never should have done this," he whispered, "I never should have exposed you to him.  God, Kurt, I...I'm sorry.  I hate that you had to endure that."  He pulled back and carefully wiped the couple of tears that had fallen away from the skin of Kurt's neck.

"I didn't know," Kurt said, and he paused, swallowing and shaking his head, "I didn't know how hurtful he could be.  But I'd go through it again for you if I had to."

"You won't ever have to," Blaine said hollowly, "this was my last effort, and now I'm cutting my losses.  I'm letting him go.  He won't ever have to deal with the embarrassment and displeasure of my company again."

"Don't say it like that," Kurt murmured.  "...I wish I knew what to do.  Blaine, I love you."

"I love you, too," Blaine said, sighing as he wiped at his eyes and held Kurt tighter.

***

The following afternoon, [Blaine](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ld2snd4yfU1qzd9m4.jpg) was glad the weekend had arrived, as he was in need of some serious relaxation.  When his final class let out, he hurriedly gathered up his things and left the room, glancing down at his phone to see a text from Kurt.

_Meet me in that auditorium where we sang We Go Together last fall._

Smiling in confusion, he quickly made his way to where Kurt had requested, pushing open the door at the back of the audience to find it empty except for [Kurt](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh8z65vuWj1qgqvnv.jpg), who was standing in the middle of the stage with a small CD player, soft, warm lighting gracing his beautiful features. _  
_

"What's this?" Blaine asked, unable to keep the smile off his face.  Kurt looked at him and smiled as Blaine made his way down the steps to the front row.

"I'd like to sing something for you," Kurt said, his expression tender.  "You've had a hard week, and yesterday I discovered that when it comes to your family, you deal with things I can't totally understand.  But this isn't about that, at least, not really.  This is about you.  Blaine, you are amazing.  You are one of the most loving, kind, brave people I have ever known, and you've been there for me through so much.  I just want you to know that I'm going to do my best to always be there for you, and I want you to know how much I admire and love you."

Blaine took a breath before he spoke, his heart clenching in his chest.  "Okay," he managed.  He and Kurt exchanged tentative smiles and Blaine sat down in a seat in the front row as Kurt placed the CD player on the floor and pressed [play](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf3iFLc-2mk), and delicate strains of acoustic guitar filtered out, soon accompanied by a piano.

_"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time..."_

Blaine leaned back in his chair, hands holding the armrests as he watched Kurt, who had his eyes closed as he sang the first verse, his face tilted up to the light.  His life up until just over two years ago hadn't been filled with much by the way of love and affection.  He hadn't known it was possible to love someone as much as he loved Kurt.  That is was possible to love someone _like_ he loved Kurt.  For love to feel so good.

_"...maybe I'm a boy, maybe I'm a lonely boy who's in the middle of something that he doesn't really understand..."_

Kurt was looking right at him now, the stage lights illuminating his stunning blue eyes.  His smile was tremulous and filled with emotion as he continued to sing, and he pressed his clasped hands to his chest as he rocked back and forth on the spot.

When the song reached the instrumental break, Blaine got up.  He kept his eyes on Kurt, who was swaying gently and watching him with warm eyes, as he walked to the side of the stage and climbed the stairs.  He loved when Kurt looked like that, warm and soft and strong.  It was the most intimate side of Kurt, and Blaine loved that he got to see it more than anyone.

_"...maybe I'm a man, and maybe you're the only man who could ever help me; baby, won't you help me understand..."_

Kurt waited until Blaine reached him and then reached out, taking his hands between his.  He raised them to his lips and kissed his fingertips between the words he was singing. Blaine let out a watery laugh.

_"...maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song, right me when I'm wrong, maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you..."_

Blaine slid his arms around Kurt's waist, dragging his hands up to hold tight against Kurt's back while Kurt gripped his shoulders.  Letting out a little sigh, Blaine tilted his head, letting Kurt rest his chin on his shoulder and sing the rest of the song to him quietly as they revovled on the spot until the music petered out.  They held each other long after.

When Blaine finally pulled back and spoke, his voice was thick with emotion.  "You are...so special to me.  And what we have...I'm never letting go of it."

"I'm never letting go either," Kurt promised, blinking back tears, "I'm always going to fight for you, Blaine.  In every way.  Because I love you."

Blaine smiled and pressed his cheek to Kurt's, whispering into his temple that he loved him too.

***

Later that night, when the two of them were curled up together, alone in their apartment since Santana was meeting Kevser for coffee and Rachel had stayed late at NYADA to practice her dance routine for Cassandra July's class, Blaine shifted in his seat and picked up his phone.

"I'm going to call my mom," he said.

Kurt sat up straight, moving his legs from where they were stretched out so he could place his feet on the floor.  "Oh?"

"Yeah," Blaine said, looking down at his phone.  "We have our issues, and I'm not going to see my dad for her any more, but I do love her."  He turned his head and smiled at Kurt.  "And you fight for who you love, right?  You don't just let them go when things are hard."

Kurt beamed at him as he stood up.

"I'll just be a couple minutes."

"Okay, but I'm pausing the movie.  I am so not sitting through any part of Showgirls without you here to hate-watch it with me."

Blaine laughed and leaned down, pecking Kurt on the lips before he ducked into their room and called Mom.

"Blaine?" She sounded anxious.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he told her.  "Hi, Mom."

"...what are you calling about?"  She sounded neutral, and he would have found it discouraging, but there was a hint of something else there, like she was being cautious.

"Just to talk.  But only for a couple minutes, since Kurt and I were sitting down to watch a movie."  Blaine bit his lip, waiting, trying to ignore the frantic pounding of his heart.

"...oh.  Rea- How is he? Your, um, boyfriend.  How are you both?"  

Blaine had to press his lips together for a moment at the sound of her voice.  She sounded so tentative, so hopeful.  He wasn't used to it; Mom was usually just polite and reserved.  And tired.  It had been so long since he'd actually spoken to her rather than using texts and emails.  But he smiled at what she had just said.

"We're doing well, thank you for asking."  He decided it would be best to avoid addressing the disastrous lunch on Thursday for the time being.  "Maybe...next time we're in Lima or you come to New York, we could get together and you could meet him."

"...I'd like that."

Blaine blew out a breath, running his hand over his hair.  

"So, how have you been?"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The restaurant where they have lunch is Porter House New York
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Maybe I'm Amazed (Paul McCartney, Jem cover version) by Kurt


	3. Break

"Santana?  Santaaaanaaaa!"

[Santana](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbzm1rUtyS1qeds6ko1_r1_500.jpg) blinked down at her coffee mug and then looked up at [Kevser](http://pmctvline2.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/nup_148700_0299.jpg?w=640), who was sitting across the table from her.  Santana offered a small smile, settling back into the plush leather cafe chair.

"Where were you just now?  I was trying to tell you about Jess!  She's hot and fun and I just might manage to have a date for V-day this year."  Kevser grinned and held up her crossed fingers.

Santana's expression turned sour.  "Well, that'll make one of us."

Kevser frowned at her and Santana rolled her eyes, pulling out her phone.

"I'm in the middle of midterms, so it's not like I can go back to Lima to see Brittany next week."  She glanced down at her phone at the string of messages she had sent, with no replies.  "And I haven't been able to get a hold of her all week."  Brittany wasn't picking up her phone, her status on Skype glared 'offline' like a taunt, and she wasn't responding to emails or texts.  It was getting bad enough that Santana was considering calling Girl Chang to demand answers, even though she hated the idea of the glee club discussing her and Britt's business, and Tina was a notorious gossip.

"Did you two have a fight?" Kevser asked, taking a sip of her tea.

"Nope.  The last time we spoke, we talked about this girl in my sociology class who passed out drunk in the middle of a lecture and how Britt thinks they started letting rats cook at the McKinley caf, since the food is improving.  No fight at all."

She missed the sound of Brittany's voice.  That alone could keep her going through a crappy day.  Long distance was hard, but they were kicking ass at it, in Santana's opinion.  They had learned to arrange their schedules better than before to make time for each other, and a couple weeks ago, Brittany had sent her a care package in the snail mail with a box of chocolate cigars, a burned CD of clips of Queen Paula Abdul being cooler than everyone on American Idol, pictures of Brittany with people in the Glee club Santana couldn't care less about but endured looking at so she could stare at her girlfriend's sweet face and beautiful eyes, and a stuffed white toy bird that sang "You are my sunshine" when she squeezed it.

But maybe she had been too cocky about the long distance thing.  Several days of radio silence made it clear not all was peachy keen in Brittanyland.

"I'll tell you what.  If things aren't better by next weekend, Jess and I'll take you out and get you nice and liquored up," Kevser said with a wink and Santana tilted her head and gave her a judging look.

"I love a boozy night like anybody else, but that's probably not going to help.  Besides, we just got hammered last weekend."

"Midterms will be over, though, right?  Perfect time for some partying." 

Santana laughed as Kevser did a little boogie in her seat and spilled some tea on the table, but her laughter cut off as soon as she felt her phone buzz.  She looked down at the screen with a grin and then up at Kevser.  "It's Brittany."

"Go on, then," Kevser said with a smile and a wave of her hand, "go reconnect with your lady."

"Britt, hi!" Santana said as she stood up and walked to the bathroom for some privacy.  "Where the hell have you been?  I haven't been able to reach you all week!  Do I need to hurt someone?"

"I was busy."  Brittany's voice sounded dull.

"Did you take all your cold medicine at once again?  You sound weird."

"I was busy because I'm doing fundraising efforts to get money for the campaign trail for student body president next year."

Santana stared at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror.  "Next year?  What are you talking about?  You're graduating, Britt."

"...where are you right now?"

"I'm having coffee with Kevser.  But that's not important.  Where is this B.S. about running for president again coming from?"

"It is important, Santana.  It's important because I saw you, how you were last weekend.  The two of you.  Mike put up a video."

Santana's heart dropped at the crack in Brittany's voice.  "Nothing happened with Kevser!  We were drunk and having fun, but I swear nothing happened."

"I know," Brittany said quietly, "but that doesn't mean it won't.  That it shouldn't."

"What are you saying?" Santana whispered, her insides feeling like they'd just been doused with cold water.

"I'm saying I'm weighing you down.  I'm Dead Weight Super Senior Brittany and in New York you have Amazing Julliard Kevser.  I'm saying you should be with someone you can be with."

"I can be with you, Brittany," Santana managed, her eyes filling up with tears as she pressed a palm to her forehead and leaned over, feeling sick, "I _am_ with you."

"No, you're not."  Brittany was crying.  "You're not any more.  I'm l-letting you go.  You're free."

"Brittany, no!  We can talk - Brittany?!" Heart thumping in her chest, Santana looked down at her phone.  Brittany had hung up.  She frantically pressed send and paced the length of the bathroom as she listened to the phone ring.  "Damnit!" She tried again.  And again.  She sent a text message, and another, her fingers shaking so much that some of them were unreadable.  "No!" The word came out on a half-sob and Santana fell back against the wall of the bathroom, phoning Brittany again.  Tears fell from her eyes as she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor, legs hugged against her chest.  

"Please..." she whispered, and then pressed her forehead to her knees when Brittany's voicemail came on again, mocking her with the cheerful sound of Brittany's voice telling her the phone gnome would relay her message.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Song Order: My Dark Side, Good To You, Amazed


End file.
